Saturday, February 24News That Matters

Tag: Gentlemans

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Rev- … er … play

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Rev- … er … play

Sports
This week I present to you different form of missive. I have written a playlet entitled Mr. Woolwich Goes to the Doctor’s. It is the tale of Mr. Woolwich, a grand gentleman with many successes to his name but who is experiencing a number of unpleasant ailments of late. MR. WOOLWICH GOES TO THE DOCTOR’S CHARACTERS MR WOOLWICH – A fine city gentleman. THE DOCTOR – His physician THE MANAGER – A manager SETTING A private doctor’s office in Harley Street, London. ACT ONE THE DOCTOR Good afternoon Sir. You have booked a double appointment, am I to assume that you have a number of ailments to discuss? MR WOOLWICH Sir, I do. As you know I have not been quite well for a while now. I have an enormous goitre. I keep breaking bones, I’ve got the runs, my hair is falling out, I am me
Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

Sports
After the rip-roaring success of my exclusive interview with our new attacking forward, Mr. MacMillan, a couple of weeks ago, Arsenal’s famous Welsh press officer Dai Laffyn contacted me this week with another offer. Would I like to interview our new striker Peter O’Bannon, signed with such Arsenalistic drawn-out drama from Prussian Dortmund at his country estate ‘Little Tipperary’, just outside London Colney? You wager I would. So I called for my chauffeur Osborne to bring the 1933 Humber16-60 saloon round to the front of the house and we off we toddled. Mr. O’Bannon has owned the estate since 2010 following the sale of his father, Kneecaps O’Bannon’s scrap metal dealership, and he has spent a number of years and many hundreds of thousands of pounds recreating the Tipperary of his childho